Assassination Classroom Episode 4: “Besides, ‘Miss Bitch’ fits better…”

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WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS MINORLY STRONG LANGUAGE

Episode 4 begins with Koro shopping for cheap Japanese snacks at the convenience store. Outside, he hears a fuss as some men are harassing a well-endowed, blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman. Koro comes to her aid, shoving the men into what can be assumed is their car, and wrapping it in pink ribbon.

It came as no shock to me that this “ditzy bimbo” who is now suddenly hanging all over Koro for saving her was yet another new teacher at the school. Irina Jelavic (pronounced ‘vitch’ at the end) is the new foreign language teacher for the E class. Even less of shocker is that she is, in fact, a hard-boiled assassin sent by the government, using her womanly wiles to get her way. And as it turns out, Koro-sensei has a weakness for boobs. Koro is so taken by this woman that she is able to get away with comparing his “beady” eyes to “diarrhea pills” and make it look like a compliment!

Using the powers of seduction, “Miss Irina” (as the students call her), gets Koro-sensei to go to Vietnam to get her coffee. While he is away, she reveals what she is planning to the class. She shows her true side, bringing in hired guns who will do anything for her for free, threatening the students if they get in her way, and complaining about the student’s calling her by her first name. Naturally, she wants to be addressed by “Miss Jelavic” but Karma opts for “Miss Bitch” instead. (10 Points to Slytherin!)

She is challenged by Karma, who points out that a group of students can’t kills Koro, so why does she think she can? Miss Bitch tells Karma that “Grown-ups have their own grown-up way of handling things” before grabbing Nagisa, kissing him (and assumedly shoving her tongue down his throat), and saying that she would like to go over his notes later. In a later flashback, we see Nagisa reluctant to give her the notes but he does tell her that Koro has a great sense of smell, “despite not having a nose.”

The class, Nagisa included, hate her and take to calling her Miss Bitch. I am unsure how many days have passed, but on a different day, Koro-sensei is asked to join Miss Bitch in the shed during fifth period. An unfortunate amount of our time was spent trying to read subs whilst trying not to look at Miss Bitch’s ass as she seduces Koro. Miss Bitch uses seduction to try to focus all of Koro’s attention onto her. She tells him that she’s “going to take it all off” and asks him to wait as she hides behind a board. Her hired hands open fire with real ammo. She admits to never having had to assassinate an otherworldly creature and says that there isn’t anything that wouldn’t die from the assault weapons being used. And that is where she has made her second mistake – Iron melts in Koro-sensei’s body. Her first mistake? Koro has already smelled the iron and ‘old men’ in the shed.

As it turns out, Koro was playing along with her act to draw out his assassin, stating that his students are a more formidable opponent. Aaaaannnnd Koro decides to groom her, massaging her, undressing her, and doing “a slimy thing with his tentacles.” Which frankly, I don’t want to know what he did, because when asked by Nagisa, Koro says that “adults have to be groomed in different ways” and looks like a guilty child denying a problem.

We move on to another classroom scene wherein the kids ask her to bring in Koro-sensei if she isn’t going to teach them, because they have exams coming up. Miss Bitch begins ridiculing the students, mocking their grades, their focus on exams over the destruction of earth, and even insults them further by saying she will give them 5 million yen to split when SHE kills Koro-sensei. The students get upset, as is their right, and begin throwing things at her, telling her to leave. In the staff room, Karasuma tells her to go apologize to the students and she refuses. Why should she, a professional assassin, lower herself? Why does she need to be able to actually teach? Karasuma leads her to where Koro-sensei is writing test papers; even at Mach 20 speeds, he is going slower. As it turns out, Koro-sensei writes a different test for each and every one of his students based on their skills and what they need to work on. Karasuma also shows Irina that while it looks like some of the students are playing badminton, they are actually utilizing training for assassination that he taught them. Everyone in this school has two roles – Koro as a teacher and a target, the students as pupils and assassins, and himself as a gym teacher but also as a government official overseeing the training of assassins. Karasuma basically tells her that if she can only handle being an assassin, she should leave.

Much to my dismay, she doesn’t. She arrives at the school, writing the phrase “you are incredible in bed” on the board. She explains that the best way to interact with assassination targets is to sweet-talk them and offers to teach them conversational English. She even apologizes and tells them that if they can’t come to think of her as a teacher, she will leave (I wish). The kids decide that ‘Miss Bitch’ was an inappropriate thing to call a teacher and, again with the help of Karma, settle on ‘Professor Bitch’ instead.

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